The Anthurium forgetii in the back corner of my grow tent put out its last leaf in March. It is now October. The petiole of the next leaf has been visible for six weeks — a pale green nub thickening at a rate that would embarrass a glacier. In the same tent, a Philodendron gloriosum has unfurled four leaves in the same window, each one the size of a dinner plate. Both plants are healthy. Both are getting roughly the same care. One is simply built differently.
Feeding the fast ones is easy: more light, more water, more nitrogen, stand back. Feeding the slow ones is the actual craft. A plant that produces two leaves a year cannot metabolize what a Monstera deliciosa inhales in a week, and the fertilizer regimen that keeps a Thaumatophyllum glossy will, applied to a dressleri, slowly cook its roots in the dark. This is a strategy for the second kind of plant — the ones that punish enthusiasm.